Saturday, July 10, 2010

Taming Listlessness

While I'm typing this, Ade and Peter are intensely discussing NBA players and teams...they are always on opposite sides of the argument when it comes to sports, each one talking rapidly and overlapping speech...some father-son bonding ritual that gives me a headache.  In earlier days this would take place on some nearby street corner or neighborhood pub or some garage...but at the kitchen table over coffee and cereal seems invasive to my head.  I'm recalling a lecture given by bell hooks to architecture students (i crashed the lecture) that theorized to what extent outdoor and indoor spaces where claimed by gender. 


I woke up very early and sat on the balcony surrounded by Peter's tomato jungle and watched a teeny tiny spider bounce up and down, little by little, off of a vine, but I'm feeling listless.  To settle myself I printied on the fabrics that were soaked in the Bubblejet and Golden Digital Grounds that I mentioned previously...as I sip gulp my coffee I"ll upload the comparisons...hold on.


Visually, the difference is negligible .  The Digital Ground image is a little sharper and it makes the paper feel and behave more like art paper instead of cloth, stiffer but breathable, unlike using a gel medium.  Between the 2, my perference is the cloth with the digital grounds for the feel of it.  These are on cotton.


Last summer, sister blogger Marie, shared her results. (Click on her name to see.)


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Daddy's service and beautiful and a sweet but short family gathering.  I loved two of the stories shared by one of his CB buddies, a Rev. Woods, who has lived in Michigan for the last eleven years and just so happened to be in Louisville for a family reunion.  He shared how my father, some decades ago, got him started with his CB passion and how much he loved talking to my father, Groundhog, via the radio.  The other older gentleman, told a railroad story and its what he left out that made the story even funnier for those who knew him.


I dreamt about him last night...he was dressed in the suit we buried him in but was in front of the casket carrying it with the 6 pallbearers.  He was walking down Broadway and when he passed 26th street he turned into this huge rugged field of gold and green patches of grass.  It was midday and my father was taking firm steps and said "people need to understand that patience is needed in times like these".  There was a huge, huge crowd waiting for him and cleared a path for him to enter a white building that sat back and off to the side in the field.  I arrived in a limo but had gotten off of work and into the crowd and was hoping that no one would recognize me.  I fell in step behind the casket after my father arrived.  I remember having the feeling that I wanted to blend in with the crowd but I wasn't a part of the crowd. 


When I awoke I thought, its just like Daddy to find something to do to keep him busy. :) 


The hugs and prayers are appreciated very much. 



8 comments:

  1. I think this is Daddy's way of telling you it's alright. He's at peace and fitting in where he is just fine. When mother died I tried to keep on crying and feeling sad, and I believe that God comforted me by letting me know without a doubt that this was His will, and that I should not mourn for so long, but to celebrate her life that she lived. This is what I do each and every day. I remember all of her old sayings, her way of doing things and her sweet spirit and then I smile and feel alright. He also confirmed that Mother was at peace with no more pain and that she did not want to come back here if she could. LOL

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  2. I love that his message was for patience "in times like these". Absolutely. It seems fitting to me, with what little I know of your father from you, that he would be leading the procession of pallbearers at his own funeral :-D
    I dreamt of my grandmother after being at the hospital where she was and not knowing that she was there - about 2 weeks before she passed. The short version is that my grandfather was fixing everything at the kitchen table for her, arranging her mail, fixing her plate, pouring her a drink - something I had never seen him do in life. I tried to wipe the dried food I saw on her chin and around her mouth and she said, "you think I can't take care of myself". I was appalled, protested and told her I just wanted to help, we all need help sometimes. She smiled then like I'd said something brilliant, told me in her no nonsense way that she loved me, discouraged any overt sentimentalism, and I woke up. When I did go to see her in the hospital she was unable to speak and never appeared to regain consciousness, but responded in other ways. I believe the dream was the only way she could communicate with me. I love that you received a dream from your father. Wish I lived closer, but sending all the "virtual" across the universe love I can.

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  3. AND, unfortunately Chuck doesn't have anyone to talk sports with in this house, so he tries to talk to Alex (he knows better than to engage me) If I have to hear LeBron's name uttered one more time, I my spontaneously vomit.
    Also, I am amazed at this piece that you've put up here. Will you be entering this in an exhibit?? What are your plans for it?? Will you be able to read the poem in it's entirety when completed?? It is awe inspiring.

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  4. Dee, you're a woman after my own heart. I told my husband yesterday and the day before if I never hear his name again it would be too soon.

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  5. Add my hugs to the pile, Karen. My heart is so with you at the loss of your daddy. Mine died 23 years ago and I still dream about him; it is always a happy dream. May you continue to see your daddy in happy dreams and know that he is still part of you.
    R.

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  6. LOL @ Carol! Same goes!! I'm not surprised that Karoda has friends that I don't personally know with such great taste! I told my husband that despite the media frenzy, WHERE LeBron goes doesn't in fact change any aspect of my life - surprisingly enough my life will remain untouched and unchanged by this HUGE news. He finally took the bluggeoning hint and stopped assaulting my ears ;-D

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  7. I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of you father. I trust that Gods grace and his mercy will carry you and your family through this time of great loss. I hope you will find peace in knowing that your father is with the omnipotent father. May God bless you and keep you.
    Love,V

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