How to speak of disappointment...

Internal dialogs are sometimes complicated.  Logic and Emotion speaking to one another.  It starts out slow, one listening to the other and then each vies for the last word forgetting they are not the separate entities that they think of themselves to be.  Forgetting they reside in one dark body...making the host exasperated.  

Since Wednesday night, the above reference has been me.  I'll just say it started on Monday for the sake of sanity.  I ran a short errand and the weather was not as cold considering it was in the low 40s...but it didn't matter, I still came in with a scratchy throat but not feeling really "sick".  Took some aspirin, sucked on a lemon, drank hot tea, rested, and stayed in on Tuesday.  Wednesday, my soul/sole goal was to gather supplies for the 3-day Screenprinting Workshop w/ Jane Dunnewold and hopefully attend her lecture.  (the back drop since the previous weekend has been a stream of annoying, not too serious, issues with our cars.  Pair this with the cold and you can fill in the blanks).  While loading up the last of the supplies, I could feel the pain settling in my lungs along with fever.  I was still thinking, "when I get home, I'll relax, do breathing treatments and go to bed, I'll be go".  Peter kept asking me how I was feeling (yeah, I knew it was showing) which annoyed me, but it was pushing the thermostat up past 80 and still complaining that I was cold (everyone else was too warm) when he finally came out and asked (I was thinking it but not wanting to admit it), "do you think you should go tomorrow?"  It was the answering out loud that helped me make the wise choice and forfeit my spot in the workshop.  Say damn! 84000 times.

My beloved Doctor called in all the necessary scripts, Peter is riding in my car that use to be his car with all my workshop supplies, and I'm home...will probably be here until Spring.