Loosing Focus

Lost focus has resulted in a missed deadline. My aim was to prepare slides for submission to the Kentucky Arts Council Artist Development Grant by December 1st.  The work isn't finished for me to even photograph.  I'm behind on all my quilting projects and if the truth be spoken aloud, I hardly have come near needle and thread or my sewing machine since Key'vonne's tragic death. The postcard, Deep Blue Sea, Sea, Sea was the one exception. I've not been able to sleep, even less than normal, since I attended the community meeting on Friday. It was so incredibly intense. I'm almost thankful that my aunt didn't come.  That night I had a dream that Michael Newby, Key'vonne, and Janette where in dark waters trying to pull themselves out by grabbing onto my bed.  I woke up just as I extended out my hands to them.  Nothing was spoken.  Since then I've not slept but about 3 hours a night. Last night was a bit longer but it was not a restful sleep.

Penny Sisto would take the dream image and hauntingly immortalize it in a quilt.  Penny made a quilt for Theresa's family when the children died in the fire.  She said they haunted her and she reflected that very well in the quilt.  The five children's faces embraced by the outstretched hands of Jesus. I thought about calling her but I'm going to sit still on the dream until I have more clarity as to what I'm suppose to do.

Saturday was somewhat of a break.  Mama, Aunt Shirley, and myself went to Franklin for the auction of Aunt Margareed's home, land and household goods.  Symbolically the land represented the last tie we have to a farming history even though my aunt and uncle had sold off majority of the arable acreages many years ago due to their age and health. I've inherited some of her quilts and some blocks of 2 unfinished quilts and 2 pieces of her crochet work.  I would love to do something funky with the crochet work...a slip and a table runner...I thought about dyeing them and using them somehow in a quilt.  The traditional blocks I do not have a clue what to do with yet. I will post pictures later.  At the auction I won the bid on a book case that she kept her cookbooks in and my mother won the bid on a clock that belonged to her father.  We are going to see what is involved in repairing it.  It is beautiful and I fell in love with it.  I lost the bid on an antique library table.  Jackie said, Aunt Margareed did all her writing, paying bills, organizing of recipes, etc. at that table. 

I'm going to do my best to work on at least the postcards tomorrow.  But even now, I feel like I'm about to crawl out of my skin.