insomnia, again. this is in direct relationship to workplace stress. the five years i've been there has aged and stressed me more than any place i've ever been. when i look at the few who have long term tenure i'm terrified that i will become them. they themselves are survivors but not mentors, each with their own strengths and gifts but too battle worn and cynical to mentor. the last year and a half i've held a very strong investment in seeing a particular program up and running, now that it is (without much recognition for the work either), i'm not sure what will be next for me. i really would like to step down from supervision and work out of one location but that still would not abate the stress, but could possibly provide time and energy to pursue other interests. it has never been my goal to retire with the words "i survived". that has been my fear. this is the first time since i've come into my own in this field (social services) that i've not been able to make a creative and distinct impact and i'm off balance.
i'm uncertain if i need to put this down in the blog as the blog serves to be supporting evidence an a centering for my focus as a quilter. but i'm wondering if that is why i've been visualizing broken lines in design? yesterday i browsed the quilts of Artist Michael James in his book Art and Inspirations and kept redesigning them in my mind to have more jagged lines and less flow. i could do a series of broken lined quilts and call it 'Insomnia"...hey, i had a earlier post about how one names an art quilt with the thinking that it was the quilt that came first then the title...but maybe it is the other way around????
well, g'night for now...i'm going to try and go back to sleep and find some sweet dreams, hangeth in friend.
Girl, I can relate... I wish I had some good advice for dealing with workplace stress. (If I hadn't gotten laid off I'd be a basket case by now!). I used to doodle while I was on the phone at work when things got to me. I drew lots of maze like drawings and thickets of bamboo LOL! All the while I was probably really just looking for a way out.
ReplyDeleteHow about trying this though: instead of visualizing jagged broken lines like you've been doing, do the opposite: try visualizing harmonious lines and curves, something peaceful and organic, you know what I mean? Just doing this may have some influence and calm the stress. I guess it's like those creative visualization techniques you hear about :o)
Just an idea-
Sandra
Hang in there Karota.... Stress in the workplace can affect you at several fronts. Personally, as much as I try, stress at work smothers me creatively, I also can't sleep, I get withdrawn at home, etc..etc.. As a means to cope with the stress, I've tried to change my outllook towards work and to regard it as a necessary chore (I need the paycheck), and recognize that it doesn't define me anymore like it use to (I went to college to do this job and now I am stressed!!...the irony of it all) hence, I think I have alot more to offer creatively, intellectually. These thoughts and a glass of chocolate milk in the middle of the night then give me renewed confidence and comfort. Good luck...Junott
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